Although I loved this book in 5th grade, I decided to revisit it now that I am in its target audience. Unfortunately, my impression of it has changed vastly with age. Meet Zoey Redbird, a teenage girl with no personality whatsoever. After being marked as a fledgling vampyre, she is shipped off to a school for other vampyres, called the House of Night. Sound familiar to anyone? Before long, Zoey is embroiled in conflict with the resident mean-girl, Aphrodite, after Zoey starts dating her ex-boyfriend. Said ex-boyfriend is inexplicably drawn to Zoey because… it’s inexplicable. Each character in this sad excuse for a book is a cardboard cutout, from the “hot guy” to the “gay best friend” to two characters whose only identifiable character trait is their love of shoes. Zoey is worst of all: an annoying, unsympathetic protagonist who embodies the worst of teenagers. Honestly, this book confuses me. The plot and character development are on an elementary school level, but the unrelenting bombardment of adult content makes that impossible. If anything, this book is so comically awful that it makes a fun read. The rest of the series is no different, though Zoey gets a new character trait: inability to comprehend monogamy.