Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyers covers the story of Bella Swan, who moves to Forks, Washington at the beginning of the book, where she meets the mysterious and handsome Edward Cullen. She soon discovers he’s a vampire, and they fall deeply in love despite the dangers their relationship brings. Their love story unfolds amidst a world of vampires, werewolves, and supernatural secrets.

The writing in Twilight is just like a rainy day in Forks – dreary, monotonous, and occasionally interrupted by a particularly awkward thunderstorm of dialogue. It is as dull as a brick! Bella Swan, the heroine, is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Her inner monologue is a monotonous loop of “Oh my gosh, he’s so perfect!” that give even the most dedicated and obsessed fans a headache.

Edward Cullen, the vampire heartthrob, is a walking, talking, sparkling contradiction. He’s supposed to be mysterious and brooding, but he comes across as more mannequin than man. His character is about as deep as a puddle, and his perfection is so blinding it’s practically painful to read. It is as if Meyers wanted to create her ultimate fantasy boyfriend, but forgot to add any flaws.

The non-functional love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob Black, Bella’s childhood friend, is a trainwreck of epic proportions. Jacob is initially a sweet, if slightly whiny, kid. But as the series progresses, he transforms into a possessive, overly dramatic stalker. Also, the age difference between Bella and Jacob is super weird. She’s seventeen and he’s fifteen in the first book! I understand that Edward is also over one hundred, but at least he looks and acts like a teenager. The whole love triangle feels forced, especially because Meyers already set up Edward as the main love interest by the time Jacob became mature enough to be considered as an option by Bella. It’s a romantic disaster that’s more likely to make you cringe than swoon…

However, amidst the cringey dialogue and superficial characters, there are a few glimmers of hope. The world-building is surprisingly decent. Meyers creates fascinating, if somewhat illogical, vampire lore that’s intriguing and terrifying. And Alice Cullen, Edward’s psychic sister, is a breath of fresh air with her earnest personality and cool abilities. There are also a few giggle-worthy and cute romantic scenes that strive to redeem the obviously failing love triangle.

Twilight is undeniably a pop-culture phenomenon, and there’s a certain charm to being part of such a massive fandom. It’s like being in your own personal Hogwarts, minus the magic and plus the endless supply of eye-rolls.

So, should you read Twilight? If you’re a masochist with a penchant for the absurd, absolutely. Just be prepared for a rollercoaster of emotions that will leave you simultaneously laughing, cringing, and questioning your life choices.

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